Attraction it is not a choice: Part 1

In general, an attraction is what draws one object towards another. Let me first preface this by saying that there are subcategories of attraction which include but are not limited to, physical attraction and sexual attraction When it comes to sexual attraction most social psychologists believe the following:

Much of human sexual attractiveness is governed by physical attractiveness. This involves the impact one's appearance has on the senses, especially in the beginning of a relationship:

Visual perception (how the other looks and acts);

Olfaction (how the other smells, naturally or artificially; the wrong smell may be repellent);

Audition (how the other's voice and/or movements sound).

I think they have it right to a SMALL extent. Visual perception or looks have more to do with how you are dressed, groomed and present yourself then if you are blessed with super model good looks. Women say all the time that you should just be yourself but it is about being your BEST self that matters. Visually you want to portray that you take care of yourself or else how could you take care of the women in your life.

When it comes to olfaction or smell as we all know it, people over look this lots of times but it is a small detail with very large implications. Smell is tied to memory for reasons that date back to the caveman days. If you smell good all the time when you are out with girls they remember it and comment on it WAY more then most people think. Part of grooming which goes back to “looks” is making sure you put on a cologne that works for you and is not overpowering.

Finally these psychologists talk about audition or how the voice sounds. Sinn did a post on tempo and I think that it fits really well, here is an except of his blog:

Tempo: The rhythm of the interaction. The speed of it. You can use different rhythms to create different results. For example if you are really teasing a girl, the faster the rhythm of the jokes and teases is faster like a machine gun ba..ba..ba..ba..ba..ba. Where as in a more controlled energy level the jokes come slower ba......ba.....................ba..................ba

You want to slow the interaction down as much as possible. Because as you slow the energy level down to the lowest possible level, you can then lead her. That's why most guys have dancing monkey syndrome, is that they don't immediately tone the energy level down. Or if they do, they don't know where they want to take her.

In fact the lower the energy level you can open at, the more ability to lead you have.

All three of these ideas working together are not the be all to end all in sexual attraction. Attraction is defined as, the action or power of drawing forth a response. Simply put, attraction is drawing an emotion out of a person. I believe that many guys go into pick up with the mind set that attraction means something that is based purely on physical characteristics because that is what we as guys respond to. To get an emotion out of a girl is an important step to the pick up game. In addition we as pua’s need to have a willingness to emote as well.

As you see the picture above, you see this girl as beautiful and your emotional circuitry fires as your reproductive system responds to the visual image. The real question is what about her do we find so attractive. Features such as a symmetrical face, full lips, and low waist-hip ratio, are commonly considered physically attractive when part of a female, because they are thought to indicate physical health and high fertility to a potential mate.

Men select a mate based on their ability to reproduce and women select based on the ability to provide.

As you can see already if attraction is the act of drawing an emotion out of a person then the game is NOT played in attraction, it has to be played somewhere else… like comfort. I am convinced that you cannot be good at something until you understand how that something works. There are rules to becoming proficient with things just like there are rules to the game. To be good at getting attraction you have to understand how it works and why it works that way. Now you understand a little bit about what attraction is and next time lets talk about why it works the way it does and how to put it in your game!