Before Vegas I thought I had my game together. I thought my life was going pretty well and I was secure in my abilities to deal with people socially. I had an idea of where I was going and how to get there. The weeks leading up to Vegas changed me as a person and through the next couple of weeks I am going to attempt to explain how.

Part 1: Becoming a man….

What does it mean to be a man?

This is a question that I have pondered to three weeks now and I am STILL not sure if I can fully define it. I think that the definition is subject to change much like one would define love. For me being a man is stepping up to the plate when you want to just be complacent. It means being independent and a provider for not only yourself but for other people. In essence being a man is being someone who brings out value in others.

When we learn pick up we are learning how to be men. We are learning not just how to get the girls we want we are learning how to becoming the men who these high quality women are attracted to. Since value is a magnet that drags around our perception we must as men have the type of value that we give freely to others. An example of this would be if you saw someone on the street who asked for a penny. Chances are you would give them a penny without thinking because a penny to the average American is a disposable thing. We have pennies in abundance and thus give them freely.

In Vegas I was able to give value to targets as easily as I give pennies to someone. For most of my life I was the person who took value from others. I got involved in Pick up to take validation from girls. I figured that the more girls I slept with the more my self esteem would grow. The girls came and went and so did the self esteem. It was not until I learned the greatest paradox in human history that I actually gained tangible self esteem. That paradox is, the more that you give without expectation the more you receive.

While I was in Vegas I opened a set one night while we were at a local bar. There were plenty of girls in the set to go around but I made sure to talk to each of the girls and get to know them. I came to one girl who physically was not attractive at all to me. I spent time with her and raised her state, I got her off the seat and dancing and ended up having a great time. I found value in someone who I normally would have dismissed. As the night drew to a close I saw her sitting down once again, I went over to her and asked her if she was tired already. She said I am tired a lot. She then told me that she has cancer and has been in chemotherapy. Then she told me that tonight she has had so much fun and it was thanks to me.

The paradox of human history hit me in full force. I gave this girl value when other people would have passed her up and because I did find value in her I received the best gift I have ever gotten.

Next part will be the lesson of the stripper… Stay tuned :)